Do Mothers know best?

A national supermarket chain has asked people to share the words of wisdom passed down from their Mothers. So it got me thinking about my Mum and the things she told me and frankly anyone else who would listen.

She was from the school of “tough love” so some of her “pearls” may shock you. As an adult I now see they were passed down by her Mum, my 86-year-old Grandmother who thankfully is still with us and still shocking us with her tales.

In no particular order I give you my mother's law:-

1. Ugly Ducklings turn into beautiful swans – Shocking as it sounds, my Mum used to tell me and my poor friend this very often. We would complain about not getting enough attention or our hair not being as nice as others and this is the quote we’d get back! What she should’ve said was that we were beautiful, that we were bright and funny etc etc but that just wasn’t my Mum, nobody should get ideas above their station which brings me to number two...

2. There’s nobody in this world better than you and you’re not better than anyone else – She was quite the Socialist. Of course, not being better than anyone else didn’t include being named Deputy Head Girl at school – she could brag about this and obviously my brother was THE star player on the football pitch.

3. Keep your hand on yer ha'penny – This charming piece of advice must surely have been passed down from my Nan! This would be told to my friend and me during our teenage years and for those of you who don’t know, the ha’penny is referring to a valuable piece of a girl’s anatomy! I would cringe with embarrassment when this was said so safe to say it won’t be repeated to my girls.

4. Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone – This would be her stock phrase upon seeing me upset. Usually she’d tried the hug, asked me what was wrong and then as her patience was running out this would be said and she’d leave the room in a puff of smoke (okay that bit’s not true.).

5. Eat a ginger biscuit and have a bite of an apple for morning sickness - Pregnancy isn’t an illness!

6. Alcohol is the answer – Guinness should be taken if you’re feeling run down or suspect you are lacking in iron. Alternatively, whisky should be used for colds. Lager is good for kidney problems. Oh and last week my Nan told my cousins and I that if she’d drank more gin she would never have needed a hysterectomy – who needs doctors, off licences hold the answers!

7. Add a pinch of sugar to a tin of tomatoes – I still do this but can’t remember her reasons. Maybe I should try leaving it out and see if it makes a difference.

8. Too much vinegar will dry your blood – I totally and utterly believed her and never questioned her wisdom, she was my Mum – she knew everything.

9.  Don’t bite your nails – If you swallow them they’ll form a circle around your heart and then you’ll die. This tale she told my young brother. Scary, wasn’t she? Oh, by the way, if you’re going to cut your nails don’t do it on a Friday or Sunday – this will bring you bad luck.

10. Green cars are unlucky – this is FACT according to my Mum. I still can’t bring myself to buy one for if I did I would have a crash, there’s something in the way they’re built! Also, don’t wear crushed green velvet – this is also unlucky.

I’m starting to think I was brought up by a sorceress! Please telll me it's not just me that was raised by a witch? X