Joanne Gallacher
By

Yummy Mummy fashion gone Wrong


Yummy Mummy fashion Vs. Yummy Yummy food

Isn't the weather absolutely glorious? This sunshine is definitely helping this working Mum - I can get all my washing on the line and dried in no time at all. The only downside is the fact that the majority of it will have to be ironed! Oh well, most of the clothes in our house belong to the daughters and I quite like ironing theirs.

Sad aren't I? They don't take long to iron though and their little vests and pyjamas look so sweet. The poor husband and I have hardly any clothes - but even he who thinks the socks and sandals combo is perfectly acceptable and makes me look lush, has more clothes than me - how bad is that? I think this Yummy Mummy is slowy turning into a Yummy Yummy Yum Yum Mummy.

Meaning, the treats in my life are becoming far more desirable than the fashionable clothes.

Yummy Mummy fashion

I'll get money for my birthday or Christmas and I'll set off for the shops with the intention of buying myself something, but the girls' clothes always seem so much more appealing! "THEY DON'T NEED CLOTHES," says the voice in my head but still I dip into my private stash and splash out on the Madams!

I suppose I must get maternal delight when I see them out dressed as pretty as a picture. God knows what there opinion of me is as I walk behind them looking bedraggled. Sunny weather makes the situation even worse. They have beautiful dresses in bright colours which draw admiring glances and touching comments.

I have to drag out last year's maxi dress which is completely unflattering - I look 7 months pregnant in it and I have been known to trip ungraciously over the hem. It's so long that I look as though I'm gliding along in roller skates. I really don't think these are appropriate attire for women who have height issues - OK, I'm short and yes I have hips - good child bearing hips may I say!

Yesterday I thought I'd drag out a long skirt - it's a gorgeous emerald green colour and has actually had one previous owner but these are minor details. I thought I looked semi on-trend and quite nice. It was a change to be out of the jeans. I had one comment passed by my 86-year-old grandmother.

Don't worry it wasn't a compliment, oh no, much worse. As I glided into her bungalow, well actually shuffled. Does anyone else have a problem with these sandals that have a thong like piece of leather in-between your toes? I could barely walk. Anyway, I digress. The grandmother that's where I was - she said to me and I quote "Oh I've seen some sights today, one woman came past in leather shorts, another had a tight vest top - and now this one getting out of the car's got a skirt on down to her ankles! I looked up and it was you". Oh, how the lovely old person laughed! Good job I love her. If she wasn't family and didn't look all sweet like Jessica Fletcher from (Murder She Wrote) I could literally have strung her up there and then. And that's one murder I'd have happily written myself.

I can't hide it any longer, I've let myself go! What I need is a good shopping spree but I need to find some fashionalble yet inexpensive clothes which will look good on an average sized woman who's had two children and still not quite lost the baby weight. Plus, to make matters worse I found a grey hair today too - Does anyone know if there are helplines or support networks for fallen angel's women like myself? PLEASE HELP! Or, send me details of plus size ladies evening dresses so I can glam up and become the Yummy Mummy I used to be.  Either that or send me Gok Wan's telephone number. Xx